What do you want from life
To kidnap an heiress and threaten her with a knife
What do you want from life
To get cable TV and watch it every night
There you sit a lump in your chair
Where do you sleep
and what do you wear
when you're sleeping
What do you want from life
an Indian guru to show you the inner light
What do you want from life
a meaningless love affair
with a girl that you met tonight
How can you tell when you're doin' alright
Does your bank account swell
While you're dreaming at night
How do you know when you're really in love
Do violins play when you're touching the one
That you're loving

What do you want from life
Someone to love and somebody you can trust
What do you want from life
to try and be happy
While you do the nasty things you must


What do you want from life
What do you want from life
What do you want from life
What do you want from life

Well you can't have that,
but if you're an American citizen
you are entitled to:
a heated kidney shaped pool,
a microwave oven (don't watch the food cook,)
a dynagym, I'll personally demonstrate it in the privacy of your own home,
a king size titanic unsinkable Molly Brown waterbed with polybendum,
a foolproof plan
and an airtight alibi,
real simulated indian jewelry,
a Gucci shoetree,
a years supply of antibiotics,
a personally autographed picture of Randy Mantooth,
and Bob Dylan's new unlisted phone number,
a beautifully restored Third Reich swizzle stick,
Rosemary's baby!
a dream date in kneepads with Paul Williams,
a new Matador,
a new mastadon,
a Maverick,
a Mustang,
a Montego,
a Merc Montclaire,
a Mark 4,
A meteor,
A Mercedes,
An MG,
or a Malibu,
a Mork Moriarty,
a Masarati,
a Mack truck,
a Mazda,
a new Monza,
or a Moped,
a Winnebago,
hell, a herd of Winnebagos,
we're givin' 'em away,
or how about a MacCullough chain saw,
a Las Vegas wedding,
a Mexican divorce,
a solid gold Kama Sutra coffee cup,
or a baby's arm holding an apple.


Words and music: Spooner, Evans
Copyright 1975 Pseudo Songs and Swiveltone Mus